N-Dubz: I Put A Spell on You

It’s official, N-Dubz done juju* up the whole of England. This morning I was getting dressed for work when I heard GMTV’s Andrew announce that the group would be performing after the break. Huh? But didn’t they appear on the show a mere few weeks ago, I asked myself. See, see, they’re playing tricks on my mind: juju. You still don’t believe me do you? Okay, read on. So there I was a couple years back at the MOBO launch when I first came across this group named N-Dubz. Comprising of two guys and a girl, they bounced onto stage with the confidence of seasoned artists. Then they started their - ahem - “performance”, the girl doing her Fergie, Black Eyed Peas thing, and the boys trying their best to communicate some kind of decipherable speech via their so-called rap. I chuckled inwardly. Their set reminded me of those end of college year performances you had to endure when you were younger. You know the ones with the crackly backing tracks, awkwardly constructed melodies, and crappy vocals from the college hottie who was more than convinced she was gonna be a superstar. But surely this can’t be right? We’re not at Southwark College; we’re at one of the most prestigious black music events in the UK. Then it dawned on me. I thought ‘awww, how cool of auntie Kanya to allow her nephews to perform at such a high profile event’ (I’d later discover that none of the members are related to MOBO founder, Kanya King ). So I turn to the girls standing close by and smile that kind of “we all know they’re shit but let’s humour them” smile. Stunned, I’m to discover that said girls are not only bopping along to the song, but mouthing the lyrics too. Juju! And then the next thing I hear N’Dubz are signed to a major record label and their publicist is calling up to ask for press coverage. Juju. Then platinum record sales: juju. And then the final straw occurred when they grace the premises of GMTV twice, finally confirming my theory of their “special powers”. Best be careful of them N-Dubz boys ladies, can’t say I didn’t warn you.

How's this for profound lyrical content

All I've got is these pictures of ya
And your light blue bruk down Nokia
Papa (Can You Hear Me), N-Dubz

*For those who don't know, juju is a West African term for witchcraft. This post should hopefuly make sense to you now, lol.

N-Dubz, Ouch