Freaky Thursday

I had such a surreal experience on Thursday that I feel compelled to write about it. The day started off normal enough - nursery run, work, and then commute back into town. On this particular evening though I had a netball match to attend after to work. To give you a brief history: I play netball for a local team named 'Siyanda'. The group was created by me, and a bunch of other women who loathed the idea of going to the gym so instead created a fun, alternative way of getting into shape. So anywayz, it was our final match of a summer league, and I was quite looking forward to it because I had missed most of the games due to my hols . The night was perfect for it - warm skies and minimal breeze. We arrived on time and for once, the team had turned out in full support. To cut a long story short, the umpire we hired failed to show up, so we all made the decision to allow our opponent's coach to step in as 'acting umpire'. Big mistake. To say she was biased towards her team is an understatement. She blew her whistle at our so-called mistakes at any given opportunity, while turning a blind eye to her team's indiscretions. Team Siyanda are normally such a lovable and friendly bunch, but by the final whistle we were rolling our eyes and refusing to shake the other team's hands which is so not like us. Said woman even had the nerve to say to our captain 'sorry I was a bit unfair to you guys', I mean, the cheek of it! Anyhoo, we still beat them in the end proving what my mama always taught me: 'teef never prosper'.

So that was that. I didn't drive that night, so one of my team member's offered to drop me home. Having burnt so much energy on the court I was absolutely ravenous by the time we arrived back in Brockley. I asked my friend to kindly drop me off on the high road so I could pick something to eat. Although I fancied Chinese, with only £3 on me and not a cash point in sight, I was forced to go to my local chicken shop. Mistake numero 2. I bought a portion of chips and some chicken wings and rapidly made my way home.  Still fired up by the events of the night, I ranted on to poor Rich when I arrived home while gobbling down my food. A few hours later while lying in bed, I started to feel icky, and within minutes was chucking up into the toilet bowl. I suffered this for a few hours before deciding at 4am that I had had enough so drove down to the hospital. Dozy and uncoordinated, by the grace of God I arrived at my destination without causing injury to myself or others on the road.

I had to sit in the waiting area for what seemed like ages before being admitted to the emergency ward. As per usual, in the waiting area was your usual social misfits just waiting for their prey - me. My suspect was a 30 something man who had Amy Winehouse style bruises down his arm and a warm smile. Bless his cottons, he instantly took pity on me and offered to bring me a cup of water. But after this altruistic act, would he leave me alone? "You alright luv?" "Yeah" "Come here on your own?" "Well yes I had to because I live with my partner and toddler and it would be unfair to bring him out in the night". "Aaah, well what do you think it is wrong with you then, suffering from emotional problems?" "No more than your average Joe". "Pregnant maybe?" "I seriously doubt it." "Well was it something you ate - pizza maybe? "Eeel, please no mention of food "Chinese food?" "Seriously, jokes aside, no mention of food" "Or steak and chips? Voice raises considerably: "Look, I'm not joking, please stop, or I'll puke". "Alright luv, I was only trying to make you laugh".  And with that he was gone. If only I knew it was that easy to get rid of him. 

Ten minutes or so afterwards I was called into the ward. I wasn't given the shot up the bum that I was given the first time I had food poisoning (which was a shame because from what I can recall it really helped with the pain and nausea) but was instead given anti sickness tablets that of course wouldn't stay down. But on the plus side though, I was able to sleep the most restful sleep I've had probably since having Khy. It didn't last for long of course. A couple of hours later I was woken up by a nurse who told me it was time to go home -  spoil sport. To be honest I felt just as crap on the way out as I did when I came in. But feel loads better now though, although slightly concerned by the number of times I keep getting stomach bugs.

I can safely say that was one of the most random nights of my life. And oh by the way, Richard ate three of the chicken wings and still feels as fit as a fiddle. Charming eh!